The following are monologues that I give permission to actors and students to use for auditions. (For showcases or performances, let’s talk. Please contact me.)
However, if you’d like to buy the author a cup of coffee for the use of any of these, it would most appreciated: Venmo: Kelly_Burr or PayPal: @Kellyburrn.
LILIAN any age (Her Mistress) Lilian has just found out her husband has committed suicide. She relates the backstory to her friends.
LILIAN: Eugene and I rarely take an interest in each other’s affairs. But the other night, a rare night when we were both in the house at the same time, we talked. Well, we drank more than we talked. And then, in the early hours of the morning, he confided in me. I realize now that he had no one else to talk to about it. Gene said he’d met a man named Karl. You know the type, young and handsome and perfect. A stagehand over at the Klein. Well, Karl’s parents came here from Germany before Karl was born. The grandfather on his mother’s side died. Karl’s parents couldn’t travel because of his father’s health, so they sent Karl to Germany to take care of his grandmother. Karl and Eugene wrote to each other for months, until at one point, Karl’s letters stopped coming. Eugene didn’t know what was going on, and of course he had no way to find out. Well, Karl’s sweet sister Ingrid finally tracked down Eugene last week. She was the only one in Karl’s family who knew about him, and she knew how much he meant to her brother. She told Gene that Karl had been arrested in his grandmother’s hometown as a suspected homosexual. The gestapo took him away, and they sent him to a concentration camp. One of the ones nobody comes back from. Those Nazis; they’re doing some horrific things to people, but Eugene heard what they do to gay men– it’s… Well, he was inconsolable. I’ve never seen him so wild. But what could he do? What would any of us do? So I guess that’s it for old Genie.
MILDRED any age (If We Really Were Witches) Mildred has a bad guy frozen in a magical spell and decides to try and reason with him. During the end of the monologue, the spell is weakening and he’s able to get away.
MILDRED: No, I’m tired– I am so absolutely tired. We go around searching for these overinflated windbags and try and stop them before they hurt people — and then what? Day in, day out, week after week, month after month, year after year; we hex this one’s chickens, we curse that one’s crops– but lately I’ve been asking myself: What’s it really all about? What are we getting at? Are we really making a point, or are we just reinforcing all of the negative witchly stereotypes? I mean, I like to think we’re teaching these sour ram’s testicles a lesson when we cause them ill fortune or mess with them, but are they ever really learning? And sure, I still laugh when we make one of them sprout a tail or an extra ear, but maybe, just maybe, the way to make real change is to sit down and talk: Meet them face to face. Somewhere buried in that soft skull is a mind, and there must be a way to reach it. So this time, let’s try talking. Eh-ehm. Sir, hello. My name is Mildred. I am a person– well, mostly; and I have feelings and thoughts, and– Hey! My eyes are up here, pal! –and ideas, same as you. I just want to know: What is it about me that makes you so afraid? Yes, of course I could crush your windpipe or stop your heart with a flick of my wrist– but at the end of the day, are we really that different? I want what you want, which is to live in peace, harmony, and respect for all life. A Utopia, where men and women are equals, and– nope, it’s not working, that one’s trying to get away– Agnes?
Ebbie (Ebbie Scrooge) Ebbie is Ebenezer turned into a woman by the three spirits. This is her final moments in the “Future” scene before she’s returned to her reality.
EBBIE: Who is that? Who has died? Is it– No, I– I cannot look. I will not look. This is a fearful place. In leaving it, I shall not leave its lesson, trust me. Let us go! I understand you, and I would do it if I could, but I have not the power, Spirit. I have not the power!
How is there not a single person here to grieve the loss of this life? Florence and Louis? Bob Cratchit? No one?
This is an empty room full of silence. Spirit, surely someone must have cried, just one tear shed. A loss felt? Can you not show me that? Let me see some tenderness, or this dark chamber will be forever present to me. I beg you, Spirit! Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which they must lead– but if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is so with what you show me!
Where are we now– whose grave is this? Why do you point to a strange man’s name?
“George Watson, and– his wife.” Who is– am I the wife? But– where is my name? Where am I? No, spirit! Surely there must be more. Where have I gone? My entire life summed up by one word– “wife!” What of that young girl, the young woman? What of me? I have been erased and only the word “wife” remains. Oh no, no! Spirit, hear me! I am not the man I was! Why show me this if I am past all hope? I will honor both women and Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. I will respect the lives of women and all that they endure. I will not shut out the lessons I’ve been taught. Oh please, please– tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!
SYD (Rough Draft) Syd, a writer, opens the play about her breakup with this monologue.
SYD: What you’re about to see is a love story. It’s the most important love story– my own love story. Like any romance, it’s full of drama, conspiracy, intrigue, betrayal, and of course, a satisfying resolve. See, this is my job– I’m a script writer. I get paid to write the “girl-meets-boy, boy-hurts-girl, girl-cries-about-boy, boy-has-revelation, returns-to-girl” story over and over again. Sometimes it’s a cliché holiday storyline, probably set in New York City; it can be a sitcom, stage play or movie, but the resolve is always the same: The happy ending is when one person changes for the other. And we do love the drama to get us there, don’t we? I mean, just think about the most famous love story: Juliet fell “in love” with Romeo, a boy she met for two minutes, in a mask, while he was stalking his ex. Completely ignoring the green flag, nice guy Paris, of course. At least he respected her enough not to sneak up to her window the first night they met. Girl, come on. Let’s face it: Nobody wants a show about two stable, emotionally mature, healthy people who communicate and respect each other’s boundaries. Where’s the suspense? You’d get laughed out of the writer’s room for pitching that in a story. There has to be chaos, longing, and tears. But what does that do to us real people? This is a different story, a real story. This is how I learned to stop believing the only way to love someone was to change for them. This is how I finally learned to love myself the way I’d been loving everybody else.
Original Plays
(Please contact me directly to discuss performance rights and royalties!)
TEN MINUTE PLAYS & SHORTS
On Your Side
10 minutes, two actors (any)
On Your Side is a ten minute play that follows a conversation between Ash and the embodiment of the critical voices found both inside and around her. As Ash looks to step out and be seen by the world, HE reminds her of her flaws, offers criticism disguised as support, and manipulates her at every turn— all while telling her it’s for her own good, and that he’s on her side.
Premiered at The SOOP to Nuts Short Play Festival, 2021.
Passed Tents
10 minutes, two actors (any)
An unhoused person attempts to sell “affordable, available city real estate” to a successful nurse trying to downsize.
Premiered at The International Human Rights Art Festival at The Tank, NYC 2024.
Center Street Wash & Fold
10 minutes, three actors (any)
“Center Street Wash & Fold” is a dramedy about a business owner, a wealthy woman and an unhoused person who catch a brief glimpse into each other’s lives. Their perceptions and prejudices are challenged as they wait for their clothes to dry. (And it’s funny.)
Premiered at The Secret Theatre, NYC, 2024.
The New Speed Dating
10 minutes, four actors (any)
A potential couple brings their therapists with them on their first date.
Premiered at The Peoria Center for Performing Arts, Phoenix AZ, 2024.
Premiered at The Peoria Center for Performing Arts, Phoenix AZ, 2024.
Three Tries
10 minutes, two actors (any)
During a chance encounter on a cruise ship, Jo discovers that Alex is preparing to end their life, so Jo asks for three tries to sell the idea of continuing to live.
Premiered at The International Human Rights Art Festival, The Tank, NYC, 2022.
FULL LENGTH PLAYS
The Losing of Long Lost Cardenio
(Comedy) 3 F/1 M/ 1 Any
In 1641, Nessa’s print shop is given the task of printing up Shakespeare’s Cardenio. When the only copy of the script goes missing, Nessa and her assistant Ludo enlist the help of Shakespeare’s daughters to recreate the work before the deadline.
Strong, leading comedic roles for women, physical and within the dialogue.
CAST LIST:
- NESSA: A widow print shop owner
- LUDO: Her manager.
- RODNEY: The printing press technician.
- SUSANNA SHAKESPEARE (In her 50s) : William Shakespeare’s oldest daughter.
- JUDITH SHAKESPEARE (In her 50s) : William Shakespeare’s younger daughter.
Without Further Ado
(Comedy, drama) 4F/3M/1 Any
Winner of the 2022 Vermont Playwrights Award
A modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing” set on the weekend of the wedding of young lovers Emily and Morgan at the Haven-By-The-Sea resort.
75 pages
CAST LIST:
- LEONARD SHAW, Emily’s father. A stereotypical New Yorker businessman.
- KATE ELLIOT, The bride’s cousin; fiery, intelligent and independent.
- SAM WILLIAMS, The bridegroom’s best friend, sharp-witted and cynical.
- EMILY SHAW, The bride.
- JENNA PERRY, Emily’s best friend.
- MORGAN LEWIS, Emily’s groom.
- DAWN SHAW, Emily’s cousin.
- SUSAN PRINCE, The hotel’s assistant manager. She often uses phrases or words in French, but never quite correctly.
- VIRGIL/VIRGINIA VERGES, The hotel’s assistant to the manager from the South. Chatty, nosy and yet extremely likable.
Our Antigone
(Drama) 2 F/2-10 Any (Double/triple casting optional)
A minimum of 4 people, but can be expanded. Only Antigone and Creon should not be multicast.
This is an Antigone for our generation– “Our” Antigone. Antigone is held at a police station for sabotaging the work of the destructive CREON Corporation. She must stand up to the CEO, who also happens to be her mother.
67 pages
CAST LIST:
- DESTINY, A GREEK CHORUS
- FATE, A GREEK CHORUS
- ANTIGONE, A “trust fund kid” and environmental activist.
- OFFICER, a cop.
- GRANDMA, A vision of Antigone’s grandmother.
- PUBLIC DEFENDER, a well-meaning attorney.
- CREON, Head of the CREON Corporation and Antigone’s mother.
- ISMENE, Antigone’s sister.
- HAEMON, Antigone’s lover (May be played by any gender/non-gender, adjust pronouns accordingly).
- REPORTER, an ally.
Ebbie Scrooge
(Comedy/drama) 14 F/ 10 M/ 4 Any (Double/triple casting optional)
Three playful spirits take Scrooge through life in the past, present and future as a Victorian woman.
- CAST LIST:
- KISMET, a spirit
- DESTINY, a spirit
- FATE, a spirit
- Ghost of Christmas Future
- CAROL MARLEY
- EBBIE SCROOGE
- LITTLE EBBIE (age 7-10)
- ALMA, The Governess
- MRS. LUCY FEZZIWIG
- EMILY CRATCHIT
- MARTHA CRATCHIT
- BELINDA
- YOUNG EBBIE (age 18-25)
- FLORENCE
- Woman 1
- Woman 2
- Washerwoman
- Charwoman
- THE UNDERTAKER
- EBENEZER SCROOGE
- HEADMASTER
- MR. FEZZIWIG
- WILLIAM (age 18-25)
- BOB CRATCHIT
- TINY TIM
- PETER
- LOUIS
- Joe Poulterer
- Assorted Townspeople
- Assorted Children